


How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

by outphan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Phanfiction, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:08:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2681975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outphan/pseuds/outphan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is feeling insecure, so Phil decides to show him that he is perfect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, hello there. So this is my first proper smut (I usually post on ff.net, but I wanted to write explicit smut), and usually I write in present tense so if you find any shift I'm so sorry. Hope you'll like it! (The title is from Sonnet 43 by Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

Dan was feeling insecure, Phil could tell. He was becoming more and more depressed, his existential crises were more frequent and he wasn’t satisfied with his online content, no matter what Phil told his boyfriend. Dan’s happiness was slipping away. He wasn’t the same person anymore, he wasn’t sarcastic, and he didn’t have his bitter wit. Phil was worried, more than worried. Sometimes Dan would just sit in the living room or in his old bedroom and do nothing.  
Phil tried to make programs, fun programs for themselves: going to the cinema, staying at home and playing new games, or just cuddling. But even during the night, Phil could tell that the problems were too much for Dan. He loved to cuddle a while ago, he was the cuddliest person. They used to talk about everything and nothing, but it was just gone.  
‘Dan, baby, talk to me,’ Phil said, begging his boyfriend to share his problems.  
‘It’s fine.’ Dan smiled, but his smile wasn’t genuine. ‘Everything’s fine.’  
Phil learned not to push. So he had to let it go. They kept watching some silly TV show, but Phil couldn’t pay attention. It was Saturday evening, and he wanted to do something to make Dan feel better. But anything he suggested was a bad idea. So they stayed at home, eating pizza and watching the telly.  
  
An hour later the episode ended, and Dan looked at Phil. ‘I’m gonna have a shower then go to bed.’  
‘Okay.’ That was the only thing Phil could say. It was just after 11 pm. Usually it was Phil who went to bed this early. Dan would stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning, playing video games all alone, or just endlessly browsing Tumblr. But this… This was serious.  
Phil did a bit of thinking: nothing was normal. Dan ate less, tweeted less, filmed less, Tumblred less. And he was being completely honest, he had to admit that Dan seemed to care less. Phil knew that their sex life was a bad example, but… It’s been long weeks since they did anything. So he made up his mind: he got up and walked to the bathroom. It wasn’t about Phil being horny, it was about Phil trying to make Dan have a great time.  
Once he was in the bathroom, he could see Dan resting his head on the wall. His eyes were closed so he couldn’t see Phil. He was definitely thinner, his collarbone popped out more than it usually did. Phil started to get rid of his own clothes; that was when Dan noticed him.  
‘Phil?’ he asked weakly. ‘What are you doing?’  
‘This is…’ he paused, taking a second to take off his boxer and step into the shower next to Dan. ‘This is about you. I’m worried about you.’ He put his hand on Dan’s upper arm. ‘I know you don’t want to talk about this, but please, please, let me love you.’  
Dan smiled lightly then nodded a bit. He hugged his boyfriend. ‘I missed this. I’m sorry. I’m the fuckiest boyfriend ever.’  
Phil chuckled, gently pushing his fingers into Dan’s already wet hair. ‘That’s a great word, love. And you are not. I love you, but shut up.’  
Dan blushed, like he just noticed their fully naked body being in contact. Phil kissed him, taking his time, enjoying the safety, familiarity and flavour of Dan’s perfect lips and mouth. As Phil slowly presses Dan against the cold wall of the shower, Dan let out a sigh. Although there wasn’t really any difference between a happy and sad sigh, Phil knew that it was a happy one.  
Phil then started kissing Dan’s neck while he put his hand on Dan’s hips. He loved that he was the only one who could touch and even kiss Dan’s neck without him flinching. The past five years were more than enough to find out all of Dan’s soft spots. Like just below his chin, or behind his ear. After kissing those places, Dan’s sighs turned into moans. He pulled Phil closer and let out an even louder moan as their erections came into contact. Phil couldn’t help but giggle.  
‘Sorry,’ said Dan, blushing again.  
‘It was cute, don’t worry,’ Phil whispered against Dan’s throat, then started kissing his collarbones.  
Dan was becoming needy. He moved his hands from Phil’s back first to his hips, then Phil’s cock. ‘Phil, please…’ he said.  
‘Not yet, love. I have plans with you.’ Dan was losing his mind more and more, and Phil’s promise didn’t help. ‘But not here. The water is getting colder.’  
Phil grabbed his towel and quickly dried himself. Then grabbing a dry one he started doing the same with Dan. His movements were gently as he wiped off the water from Dan’s body. When he was done, Phil started drying Dan’s hair. They were looking at each other, an emotion was clearly visible in Dan’s eyes. Love. He always looked at Phil with love in his eyes, no matter where they were or what they were doing. He tried so hard hiding it during videos, but Dan sometimes was really bad at hiding hit.  
‘It’s cold,’ Dan told Phil, after they spent way too much time drying Dan’s hair.  
‘Sorry.’ Phil took Dan’s hand, leading him into their bedroom. Dan lay down on the bed, looking at his boyfriend nervously. He felt so awkward, exposed like this. But when Phil climbed in next to him, he felt better. He always felt better with Phil. ‘I know you are insecure. About everything, about yourself. I know you, Dan. I know you more than anyone.’  
‘It’ll be okay, Phil. You know I have periods like this.’  
‘I know. I know I can’t really fix you, no matter how hard I try, but I can show you why you shouldn’t feel insecure about your body.’  
‘But…’ Dan tried to say something, but Phil silenced him with a kiss. ‘Okay,’ he said, giving in.  
‘Remember that night like five years ago?’  
‘We spent together a lot of night.’  
‘I’m talking about the night when we couldn’t sleep and I kissed every single part of your skin.’  
‘Oh.’ Dan blushed again, then shows a shy smile. ‘I do. It was one of the best nights of my life.’  
‘I’m gonna tell you now my favourite parts of your body.’  
Dan could only nod. Phil started kissing his face firstly. ‘I love your eyes.’ He kissed Dan’s eyelids. ‘Ever since you asked me to stroke your glabella, I’m weirdly attracted to your glabella.’ He kissed the said spot, and Dan giggled. ‘I love it when I’m the only one who gets to see your forehead properly. I love your hobbit hair, in fact I prefer your hobbit hair.’ Phil pressed a kiss on top of Dan’s head. ‘I really, really, really love that dirty mouth of yours. Maybe I hate cursing, but when I make you curse…’ he pressed his mouth against Dan’s, ’and moan and occasionally scream…’ He kissed Dan properly this time. Dan pushed his fingers through Phil’ hair. Phil really wanted to kiss Dan for ages, it took a lot of effort not to, because he had other plans.  
‘Please, Phil…’ Dan said, sighing into Phil’s hair.  
‘Not yet, love.’ Phil kissed Dan’s jaw, then his neck. ‘I love that I’m the only one who can kiss or touch your neck. And did I tell you how much I love kissing your throat while you moan?’  
Just this question made Dan moan. ‘Phil, please, I believe you, just fuck me.’  
‘Not yet,’ he repeated. ‘I love your collarbones and shoulders. I love your chest. I love that I’m the only one who can see you this way.’ He looked at Dan, who smiled gently.  
‘Me too,’ he said shyly. After a few seconds of silence he continued. ‘Now you either keep kissing me or fuck me, but don’t leave me hanging like this… And don’t you dare sing that stupid song.’  
‘You know me more than anyone,’ Phil said, before quickly kissing Dan. ‘But okay, I’m gonna skip the whole body kissing thing, I can do it later. I’m going to kiss my absolute favourite parts.’ He pressed a kiss on the lower right part of Dan’s face, just below his jawline. ‘I am absolutely in love with this little red spot,’ he said, which made Dan blush. ‘It’s true, it’s one of the cutest parts of your body. Then I love the dimple.’ He kissed Dan’s face, spending extra time there. Phil then started kissing along Dan’s neck, chest and stomach until he got to his belly button. ‘I love this almost invisible trail…’ He dragged his finger on Dan’s happy trail, excruciatingly slowly, then he barely touched Dan’s cock, but it made him gasp.  
‘Phil…’ he said, his voice deep and husky. ‘I’m begging you…’  
‘Just another part.’ Phil moved a bit, so he was further away Dan’s face, towards the end of their bed. ‘Lift your legs, please.’ Dan’s eyes were wide with excitement and anticipation. He lifted his legs, his hands clenching the sheets. Phil took Dan’s legs and he positioned himself so Dan could put his ankles on Phil’s shoulders. ‘This part…’ he put his hands on the back of Dan’s thighs. He was still looking into Dan’s eyes and he could see a bit of confusion in them. ‘You have no idea how sexy it is when you come to the kitchen at noon just wearing your boxers – or if I’m lucky mine or no boxers at all, and I see your thighs.’  
‘O…kay?’ Dan laughed a bit, still not understanding anything.  
‘I’m not kidding, Dan. I don’t have a thigh fetish, but the back of your thighs…’ He started caressing the said sighs, making Dan moan more frequently and loudly.  
‘Phil… Please…’  
Phil grinned and kissed Dan’s leg – only because it was within reach. ‘Pass me the lube.’ Dan did so, it was a bit clumsy because he was so excited and worked up that first he dropped it on his chest then against Phil chest. Both of them laughed. Phil thought about further torturing Dan by not giving him what he wanted, but he needed it too. Dan bit his lower lip as Phil poured some on his fingers. Begging or not, it’s been a while they had sex. The last thing he wanted was to cause Dan pain. As he slowly slid a finger inside him, he watched Dan in admiration. This little movement made Dan arch his back and sigh more heavily. ‘Are you okay?’ Phil asked, just to make sure.  
‘Yes… Keep doing that.’ Phil eased another finger in while watching Dan closely. He didn’t want to hurt him. But Dan, that wonderful person, was more than okay. He clenched the sheets again and as Phil started gently scissoring his fingers, Dan closed his eyes and bit his lip again. After a few seconds, Phil slid another finger in and Dan spoke in between moans. ‘You either… fuck me now… or I’ll come.’  
‘Okay, okay, got it.’  
Being in a relationship for five years meant trust. More than trust. Both of them were clean, and even though they were in a committed relationship, they were regularly tested. A year or so ago, they took a leap of faith and tried barebacking. It was weird at first, yes, but they liked it. It proved how much they loved each other, how much they trusted each other, how much they care for each other.  
So after pulled out his fingers, he poured generous amount of lube into his hand. He quickly slicked himself up, then pressed his erection against his boyfriend’s entrance. He stopped, he wanted to hear Dan’s consent again.  
‘Please…’ Dan sighed.  
Phil slowly slid into him and it literally took Dan’s breath away. Phil took his time to fully push into him, trying to be as gentle as possible.  
‘Are you okay?’ he asked Dan.  
‘Yes…’ Dan said with a deep sigh. Phil started moving slowly, firstly just circling his hips then moving back and forth a bit. He put a hand on Dan’s side to reassure him. Dan grabbed Phil’s arm, not letting go, as Phil started moving with more confidence. They fit together perfectly. Without any words, they found a perfect rhythm for both of them. They were perfect together. ‘Phil… I’m gonna…’ Dan tried to say, but couldn’t finish. Phil sped up a bit, as he watched Dan come. ‘Fuck… Fuck… Yes… Fuck… Phil!’ Dan mumbled as he came.  
After two more trusts, Phil came too. Breathing heavily, he slowly slid out of Dan and lied down next to him. They didn’t care about the mess they had made, Phil only wants to cuddle with Dan. He wrapped an arm around him, pulling Dan closer. Their limbs are tangled together in a perfect unison and Dan’s nose is pressed against Phil’s neck.  
‘Are you alright?’  
‘Mmmhmm…’ Dan said, smiling with complete satisfaction. ‘Thank you.’  
‘I know you just want to cuddle, but please know that no matter what I’m by your side. I’ll love you until you let me. You don’t have to be insecure, you are more than perfect in my eyes.’  
‘I’m so sorry. I was acting like an idiot.’  
‘You know that’s not true. Next time I’ll use this method sooner then.’  
‘Yeah, you totally should.’ Dan laughed, putting a hand on Phil’s chest. ‘We should get in the shower.’  
‘Yeah. But it’s so comfy now that I don’t care.’ He pressed a kiss on Dan’s head. ‘I am in love with you, Daniel.’ It was their way of expressing their love. They thought “I love you” could be said to anyone, so they used this. And even though Dan disliked his full name, he loved it when Phil said it.  
‘I am in love with you, Philip.’


End file.
